Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Your cock deserves a montage
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
