I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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