I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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