I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize