I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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