I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
