omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
