guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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