Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Randomize
