too bad you live with your parents still
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
