How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize