We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
