in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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