How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
