you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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