yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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