He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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