Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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