I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
