South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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