He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
