I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
