I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
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Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
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I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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