Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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