Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
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