Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
