it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
