Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Randomize
