sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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