I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
