onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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