Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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