i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
