So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize