Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
