Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize