you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
