So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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