Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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