Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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