I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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