Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
