so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
