i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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