I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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