You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
