Got a toothbrush?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
