I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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