somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize