hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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