David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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