On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
