omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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