Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Soap is not a condiment
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
