i jhust puked up my retainher.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
