Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
