The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
