Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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