Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize